Battle to Go- The Beginning

I didn't have a reason to even think about going anywhere this summer, or so I thought. I am in the middle of applying for Nursing school, trying to figure things out, and a boyfriend I want to see. God totally blew my mind at Winter Conference. He said, I want you to sacrifice your summer for me. My thoughts, "I'm not good enough to go" and "I have way too much on my mind to even begin thinking about this." After a conversation with Heather, a Cru leader, I realized that God doesn't call us to go because we are perfect. He calls us in  our current state, a broken mess or perfect and He can use us despite our flaws. By the end of Winter Conference my attitude became, "I have to go!" I was so excited that as soon as I got home from Dallas, I began the application process! 

This application was no ordinary application. It was a beast that pries into all aspects of your life and spiritual life, EVERY nook and cranny. There is no way that the people who read my application couldn't see how messy my life was. I got super nervous before I submitted it, so I prayed, "It's your will God." I hit submit and that was the end of it. 

Secretly, I was praying that they would somehow look over my application and I could go on with my original plan, to stay home and work and get ready for nursing school in the fall. However, while battling with the flu, I got a phone call from one of the leaders for the project and I had been accepted! I was once again flooded with the emotions of being both selfish and wanting to do God's will. I was almost sick to my stomach at this battle to go. 

Being the "Type A" personality I am, I made a big list on my big white board of reasons to go and to not go. In the end, God wins (like always) and I realize I have to go. A week later, I got all of my support letters ready to go and now the journey begins!

P.S.

I will keep you updated as things happen!